Vpn client should always auto connect once router restart.
About vpn server, seems you do not want to route all traffic via vpn. But this seems should be done on the vpn client side. The server just waiting for connection. If it does not route traffic to Internet, your client will not have Internet.
About lighttpd, there should not be a problem with root. If you have problem, pls post the screenshot.
But I suggest you use winscp to edit files and it is so easy.