SOLUTION: my issue was that I was on 4.70 on the Beryl AX that was my wireguard server. once I reverted it back to 4.68 all my issues resolved. I didn't realize I had updated that server device i spent all my time trouble shooting the client side. Then I pulled my device I carry in my work bag out and it had the same issues. It's a Flint AX1800 and it did exactly the same things. In fact, I couldn't even use the VPN on that device. it would lose all connections. so if you are having this issue check firmware of BOTH devices. 4.70 firmware is known to have issues and I had forgotten to check both devices
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